The courtship stage brings about a mutual commitment to a long-term romantic relationship, or marriage. It is generally a long, relative stable period. Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Love and trust is important for sustaining the relationship. You think you are really happy, but being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve either overlooked or decided to see beyond the imperfections.
It is the law of nature that relationships tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives and form new relationships with others. As humans we have two minds The logical and the emotional mind and it is more often that the emotional side takes over.
At some stage the life of many couples after marriage becomes a routine, just a life of two people, who share a home and responsibility for their children, and little else. At this point, the solution for a vast majority of couples becomes a divorce, which is itself a stressful process besides the future of the children; if the couple has any.
The most common heard complaint becomes “We’re not in love anymore.” There are numerous people who file for divorce with the explanation, “I don’t love my spouse anymore.” Where did the love go and how can you get it back?
Marriage problems often start small. Maybe with a lack of communication, or a lack of attention. But little problems build into larger problems over time. Often, by the time both parties realize that the problems between them have gotten out of control, the bad times outnumber the good, and almost every day brings dissatisfaction and feelings of sadness and resentment.
That level of frustration that comes with this situation makes the problem so much worse and you may feel as if you and your spouse are slowly pulling away from each other. Having that feeling of being together yet still feeling alone is one of the worst to have, and as it goes on longer in this way, divorce may seem like a very appealing answer.
So many times young people enter into marriage with the attitude of mind that if things do not work out as they would desire they can always get a divorce. Young people, and older ones as well, need to understand that when difficulties and problems arise – –which they are likely to—divorce is not an option they have and must never be considered as a solution to their problems.
It makes no sense that you lived with somebody for so many years and since you do not like being with him or her anymore you want to part ways. Even a tiny change in your attitude, actions, or lifestyle can completely change the dynamics of your marriage.
Many couples hesitate when it comes to counseling and wait too long. They feel that it’s like admitting failure and giving an insight into their private lives. Others may have some kind of preconceived notion about counseling.
This article is not remotely intended to suggest condoning the sadistic tendencies in either spouse that lead to continuous physical or mental torture usually ending in one partner having to suffer in silence. In fact, one of the times when marriage counseling genuinely cannot help is when one of the partners has already become detached from the relationship or bought into the idea of divorce as the only escape from an untenable situation.
Anyone who is considering a divorce must discover the causes of divorce for their own marriage. Remember, in most of the relationships, the stage of divorce is reached only when all the means of reaching a settlement and understanding each other fail.
Related articles you may find interesting:
- How to Solve Marital Problems Without Divorce Four Important Reminders For Married People
- 7 Questions to Answer So You Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
- A Few Things to Keep in Mind While Going Through a Divorce
- What You Need to Know About Divorce and How to Prevent It
- Divorce is Seldom the Right Answer!